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| What Did I Miss? By Bill |
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For the record, I rarely remember my dreams anymore. Back in the day, when I was younger, I'd remember them all the time, but in the past 10 years or so, forgeddaboutit!
I'm not sure that anyone would understand, so bear with me. I'm very selective with the kind of thing's I'm interested in, and the things I 'geek out' about. I think it's important for everyone to have something that they can obsess over, and become a total geek about. If someone has a couple of things like that in their life, it tells me a lot about them. It tells me that they have passion, heart, and dedication. Now, is there something that YOU are interested in, something that YOU are passionate about, and feel so strongly about that it almost becomes a part of you? How do you feel, when someone takes that away from you? How does it feel when it's gone, and there's just no possible way of getting it back? Well, I feel that way about the music that I listen to. It's a very personal thing. I think that that's what the sadness in the dream was about. I've always been a big Queen fan, and when Freddie Mercury died, the music was in a sense, taken away from me. THAT, could possibly explain the sadness. Like I said, I know it's weird. When I woke up from this thing, things REALLY began to get strange. When I woke up, I had a bizarre, and unprecedented feeling come over me. It felt as if 'something' were there in the room with me. It was all very confusing, I truly felt that there was something intelligent in front of me, but I couldn't see it, whatever it was. I remember feeling as if it were trying to communicate. "What are you trying to tell me?" Those were the words that I had used. The odd thing was that I can't remember if I actually spoke those words out loud, or if I just thought them. As this was happening, I was unaware of time. It could have taken a second or a few minutes. I really don't know, but it felt like a very long time. In that time where I felt this thing in front of me, seemingly attempting to communicate, about a billion thoughts ran through my head. I'm sure you're wanting me to get to the point, but I'm beating around the bush for a reason. This is what my mind was doing. It was slowly forming different thoughts, and not coming to any conclusions. For all I know, I could have still been half asleep. After a while of questions and thoughts coming to mind, one thing was certain that I had to do immediately, and I had to CONSCIOUSLY tell myself to do it. "Breathe." I remember telling myself, "You gotta breathe." I hadn't taken a breath since the experience had begun. The moment that I took a breath, the presence, and the feelings that accompanied it were instantly gone. There's a thing called 'Sleep Paralysis' where the person finds themselves unable to breathe or move while sleeping. Long ago, it was described as an 'Old Hag' holding you down and sitting on your chest so you couldn't breathe. Now, Ive never experienced this before or since, but if it was really Sleep Paralysis, I would accept that possibility, as long as it's understood by debunkers that I had no sense of fear, as it was actually rather pleasant experience. Also, it wasn't a situation of where I could not breathe. I COULD breathe, I think. I just had to remind myself to do so, but while I was not breathing, I felt no discomfort. Lastly, Sleep Paralysis usually is accompanied with the inability to move. I remember sitting up straight while all the thoughts were going through my head. But, that's not all that leads me to believe that this whole thing was something MUCH more. The next day, I woke up like normal and went to work. All day I was preoccupied by the dream, and the experience that followed. I couldn't get it outta my head. 4PM came around and it was time for me to go home, but unfortunately, the phone rang and I was unable go leave on time. This was in Pittsburgh, so I took the bus everywhere I went. The phone call made me miss my bus. I was annoyed, but it was no big deal, I walked an extra block and caught a different one. Because I took a different buss, of course it dropped me off in a different area of the city than I was used to being. Don't get me wrong, it was only a few blocks away, and I never minded walking the area. So, I started walking towards my next bus stop so I could transfer to the next bus. On the way, I had to wait for a light to turn green so I could cross the street. So, I'm standing there facing the street, staring at this traffic light, and for some reason, I decided to look behind me. Behind me was a small movie theater which usually only showed 'artsy' type of movies. On the window was a giant, larger than life poster that said, "Coming Soon to Regent Square Theater, Fritz Lang's Metropolis!" I crapped myself. It was at that moment that I had decided that I absolutely HAD to get to Regent Square and see this movie. Now, I've seen the film about a million times, but I just felt that I needed to be there. I couldn't help but feel that SOMETHING was gonna happen there. It was my "If you build it, he will come" moment, if that makes sense. When I got home that day, The first thing that I did was get on the computer and try to find information on where the theater was in Regent Square. I've never heard of Regent Square after all, and research was needed. What I found out was that Metropolis was playing for a week in a theater in Regent Square in New York. New York At that point, I didn't know what to think. I mean, I felt so strongly that there was something special going on here. There was something drawing me to that theater, but there was no way I was gonna be able to go to New York to see Metropolis. I was deeply disappointed. So that as they say, is that. Time moved on and the week that Metropolis was playing at Regent Square came and went.... And I missed it. And wouldn't you know it? About a year later, I find out that I was misled by my own research. As it turns out, there was another place called Regent Square shopping area within the city limits of Pittsburgh. When I found that out, I was heartbroken. It was a GREAT coincidence that New York also had a Regent Square which was playing Metropolis on the same week. To this day, I still kick myself for not making it to that theater. I KNOW with every fiber of my being that I was SUPPOSED to be there. I can't explain it. So, there you have it. What do YOU make of all of this? What did I miss? If you have any insight on this, PLEASE letme know. I'm easy to get in touch with. Post a message on the message board, or email me. You can get me on Yahoo messenger or on my MySpace page if you want to. Thanks, Bill |
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